it's another thing to see it on through

The past six weeks or so have been all about realizing how short a year actually is. I love what I'm building here deeply, so it's difficult to cope with the realization that I will have to be satisfied as the architect of the foundation and not the whole skyscraper.

I realize now that I've been coping by being hyper-critical of myself as if being a perfect person and perfect VISTA will somehow translate into a perfect evaluation plan for the next few decades. This sentiment is ridiculous, and I officially acknowledge and release it.

It's okay to be one person. I matter as an individual in lots of ways. That's more important than these trepidation benders.